The music is on. You’ve smudged the room and reverently (if not slightly excitedly) your women have settled themselves in the room. You breathe in, you open your eyes and catch their expectant gazes. “Welcome” you say with reverent tones. Feeling your body soften and voice deepen, you are about to launch into your mystical opening of sacred space then BANG!
That one late woman has just tripped on the cat at the front step and her glass water bottle has shattered all over the porch. Now due to an ensuing litany of f-bombs (she is one of your tribe after all) all illusions of ethereal mysticism disappear like your kids after you mention homework. But something even better has now settled into your space. Things just got a little messy, which means, your circle just got Real.
As women we can live in a tyranny of shiny-ness, a need to look and act in a perfect way. As this wave of feminine awakening grows to tsunami-like proportions and women circles are springing up everywhere, we have a duty to keep sacred women’s business real, lest it becomes yet another brand phase or bandwagon..
How do you keep things real in your women’s circle? How do you stay accessible and not isolated as a High Priestess of your mob? How do you hold your authentic spirituality and your vulnerability when you lead your women’s circle?
How do you blend your call for sacred intent with your fear of being seen and stay as real as when you make love to your husband?
Years ago, I use to go to a women’s circle with a leader who was not only shiny, she was formidably bedazzling. I couldn’t speak when I was around her, my questionable self-worth effortlessly placed her on a golden pedestal, and you know what, she gladly assumed the position … until, I actually started living the teachings she was espousing and gave up my addiction to giving my power away. I didn’t buy her glamour anymore and my need for pedestal placing crashed and burned.
As women we grow our social masks around the same time we start our menarche. Our masks are our way of hiding our most vulnerable self. Spiritually speaking, our masks are our way of making attack real. It’s the way our inner fragile maiden protects herself and stops herself from being seen.
Attack only exists in the realm of the ego though, it only exists where we make fear, not love, real. Whenever we put our “I am the High Perfectness of Shiny” masks on we are feeding our fear self, not our I am a Divine Child of Love self, or our vulnerable and wise inner maiden.
One of the greatest gifts of sacred women’s circles is that they can be havens of safety where we hold each other in a vulnerability that is way more powerful than spiritual perfection (whatever that is). Sacred women’s circles like these are reservoirs of raw truth, naked passion and soul deep authenticity.
So next time you are about to hold circle and your worry tummy makes you polish your shiny, Stop. Breathe and give yourself the approval you you’ve been waiting for. Then invite in your soul self in all her power and messiness, She will show you how to lead with vulnerability, reverence and all things Real.